What?

Expectations can be so subtle. Having confidence on something that is to happen in the future is actually expectations in the highest form. :D It is a different thing that you wouldn't wanna acknowledge the same. Damn, sometimes I get so conscious that I feel I am writing a letter, rather than blog, which was just to be a window to my mind. Wandered too far from the topic. I donot know how much of the window I should keep open. It is so difficult to decide. Expectations hurt, to say the least. Attitude and expectations are related in the same subtle way. You need to show attitude that there aren't any expectations and make sure that others do. Sometimes, it might be difficult due to the usual constraints. And I cannot show actual attitude, though many believe I do it all the time. Whatever, huh? I want to, at times, for the fear of being taken for granted. But I also dislike the idea of telling something just for the sake of it. Oh...

Dear, does one like a person more after knowing him/ her or does the attachment go on reducing??
Depends, and truly, I will be slapped, Bangalore or Delhi, I donot know. This again feels wrong, cos I know when both happen. When you are known, understood completely, the situation doesn't arise. When someone actually empathizes, there is no need for words. How I love those lyrics which say 'eyes convey more than words'. Sometimes, its not necessary to tell anything, and sometimes, all the words convey nothing at all. Words are easy to play with, but the emotions beneath are hard to be hidden. I do that quite often. Make idle talk, incessantly, that the other doesn't realize what you are going through. disclaimer: This cannot be used against people who know you well. But why would you want to anyways?

The kid

A kid actually came to me today:)
Now, I am not the types who will indulge in playing with kids whenever any kid is nearby. But dunno why, this kid came to me while we were to enter landmark and held my knees. Must be some 3 yrs old kid. I am increasing her age, since they don't mind it, at that age. I held her and carried her for a while. Whenever she looked at me, she gave a shout of joy and laughed. I was basking in the admiration and was speaking to her, atleast trying to. Finally gave her to her dad and told her a bye. I would like to think that she went back to her dad with some reluctance.;) But she didn't yearn to go atleast.:)
Its a different story altogether that i kept talking about it for an hour and now on the blog too. Yeaaahhh.. Me so happy. A kid came to me.

Hypocrisy

hypocrisy needn't always be the obvious way like the one of the netas not practicing what they promise. At a personal level, it could mean a lot of things. It could mean, how one would chide a friend for maintaining distance, when secretly thats exactly what he/she is doing, or wants to do at least. It could mean making a lot of fuss over the usage of swear words, when one has the urge to use it himself/herself when driven to the wall. It could mean having this large(or should it be small?) ego which prevents one from emulating some things, though admired, just for the reason of being unique. It is thinking of every giggling girl as girlish and not acknowledging that you are just that. It includes not able to tell your relatives you are not what they think you to be and admire you for. It is not able to tell people around you that you are not what they think you to be.....a lot more..

What do I tell? Feel like screaming at the top of my voice to the whole world, the word I made so much fuss about when used on me. Had so many aspirations, so many things wanted. Now it seems so meaningless. Why wasnt 'something' the most important thing to be wished for? Referring to the old saying, here. A lot of thoughts coming together. How I used to find this line ' humein aur jeene ki chaahat naa hoti, agar tum na hote'! The context is different. But I understand it in my own way now. The moving people around the stationary 'you' have a more important role than just keeping to their orbit. You know you should push them and make their orbit a lil wider, but u do just the opposite. You rely on them, lean heavily on their shoulders. Why???
Changes happen, unknowingly without you realizing. Like the beginning of the river like laughter in the second year. Nothing is permanent but change.:)
Hee hee..everything changes,including your mood..:D Posting this 'cos energy was anyways wasted in writing so much:P

Blogging:)

Was reading this blog some days back, the writer seems so normal. Someone unknown, and yet feels connected. Some kind of unknown respect. She talks about the absurdity of having to give a title for everything. Now that makes sense, especially someone like me, who can't think in the same direction for more than a minute. But one would wonder at the titles for each entry in my blog. It could refer to the ego, mentioned elsewhere, but its also to give a direction to the writing. This topic itself is inspired from there where she wrote about writing. Today, it would necessarily be blog about blogging. Why blog? Just cos everyone does it? Not necessarily, since it is not public. Might be for that flair etc. It is majorly to think patiently. It is to give things time before all the damage is done. It is to think of things, not thought properly of, before.......

arbit!

This time the thought process was an Enumerator of boolean. Just a To or Not to options available.
Sometimes you are amazed at the wonders life brings at your doorstep. The person who is 'known' to you for so many years actually gets known when it is time to go. Seems so unfair.
There is lot more to write. But there is the confusion that maybe I m just a paranoid. To think of it, I feel this kind when I know the person is going to go away. Like the last day of college, when I knew certain people wouldn't be in touch. Getting retro about the time spent with them now feels stupid since its not just in a 'relation' where feelings should be reciprocated. But the rest, who cared the most, it never bothered since I knew you would keep in touch and I was right there. Love you all:)
So no more feeling bad. Sayonaara.

Aries!

Impulsive ;) Dunno what started me in the direction of looking at it. It would seem corny to say i dont believe in sunsigns. But what i find them is intriguing! Maybe human mind tends to ignore the things which conflicts to his/her beliefs. So I read here only my characteristics.:)

The Aries is guided by flashes of intuition and irresistible impulse. She is a fiery dynamo who is driven by a constant desire to forge ahead into new territories. When Aries sets her sights on a goal, it becomes an all-enveloping quest. The Aries native never gives up, but moves ever forward with an obstinate force of will. Like all fire signs, she constantly feels vital energy pulsing through her, and she must use that energy or burn up!

Aries strives for independence, and success is defined by a series of distinctive or high-reaching personal achievements. Coming in first or accomplishing the impossible are the ultimate goals. Athletes, entrepreneurs, soldiers, doctors, religious leaders, race car drivers and explorers are all associated with this sign. Aries does not fear danger, and accidents are all too common with this sign, particularly head injuries.

If the Aries seems brusque or disinterested it is because her mind is set on a goal that entirely absorbs her energy. Anything that interferes becomes an annoying distraction. Once the Aries sets her sights on someone or something, that becomes an urgent and immediate priority. If you are that goal, you can be sure that you will be showered with a love that burns as bright as the sun, and you can expect to be blessed with the greatest fire of devotion.

MOON in ARIES (also Moon in first house)

Moon in Aries has fiery responses. She reacts quickly and decisively in emotional situations. She nurtures others with her fearlessness, bravery and a willingness to fight to protect her loved ones. Moon in Aries will not stand for mistreatment of any kind. Independence and self-reliance are important to her. She needs for others to show they care for her by allowing her the freedom to go her own way.

ARIES RISING (also Mars rising)

The woman with Aries Rising views the world as a place of adventure and opportunity. She has a look of bold determination and fearlessness. She expects much of herself in terms of personal achievement. Aries Rising believes that everyone is essentially alone in the world, and should be self-supporting. She is proud of herself when she is able to forge ahead on her own, or lead others.

Aries Rising is here to be a model of self-reliance and courage.

ps:coutesy:http://www.mooncatsastrology.com/astro/ariesgirl.htm