What generation is it?

Time of gimmicks. Bad publicity is also publicity!!!!
94.3 is now the radio for the move on generation. One of the channels to play Hindi as well. Before being the 'move on' radio, it was for the phata-phat generation. So two RJs 'fell in love' phataphat. That was the topic of discussion in all shows. What gifts he gave her, where they went etc etc. Suddenly today it changes the tagline. And guess what, the same people aren't a couple anymore. How cheap can you get? Like arbaaz and malaika forging a breakup for some reality show. Thats a bad thing to bring a relation between people to the forefront just to increase the ratings.
Maybe life in a metro doesn't run on emotions, which makes sense sometimes. Prevents a lot of tears, on people not worth it. But I am happy being in a metro and highly senti about somethings. There are times, I get the priorities completely messed up, but am learning. A teenager makes mistakes. Not completely an optimist, there are times when my mood was in the pits, when everything seems to be against you, all connected events. But how can I forget the rest when I was flying without any drugs? When I laugh like I am on vodka? I still have hopes on the metro and everything else:)

What?

Expectations can be so subtle. Having confidence on something that is to happen in the future is actually expectations in the highest form. :D It is a different thing that you wouldn't wanna acknowledge the same. Damn, sometimes I get so conscious that I feel I am writing a letter, rather than blog, which was just to be a window to my mind. Wandered too far from the topic. I donot know how much of the window I should keep open. It is so difficult to decide. Expectations hurt, to say the least. Attitude and expectations are related in the same subtle way. You need to show attitude that there aren't any expectations and make sure that others do. Sometimes, it might be difficult due to the usual constraints. And I cannot show actual attitude, though many believe I do it all the time. Whatever, huh? I want to, at times, for the fear of being taken for granted. But I also dislike the idea of telling something just for the sake of it. Oh...

Dear, does one like a person more after knowing him/ her or does the attachment go on reducing??
Depends, and truly, I will be slapped, Bangalore or Delhi, I donot know. This again feels wrong, cos I know when both happen. When you are known, understood completely, the situation doesn't arise. When someone actually empathizes, there is no need for words. How I love those lyrics which say 'eyes convey more than words'. Sometimes, its not necessary to tell anything, and sometimes, all the words convey nothing at all. Words are easy to play with, but the emotions beneath are hard to be hidden. I do that quite often. Make idle talk, incessantly, that the other doesn't realize what you are going through. disclaimer: This cannot be used against people who know you well. But why would you want to anyways?

The kid

A kid actually came to me today:)
Now, I am not the types who will indulge in playing with kids whenever any kid is nearby. But dunno why, this kid came to me while we were to enter landmark and held my knees. Must be some 3 yrs old kid. I am increasing her age, since they don't mind it, at that age. I held her and carried her for a while. Whenever she looked at me, she gave a shout of joy and laughed. I was basking in the admiration and was speaking to her, atleast trying to. Finally gave her to her dad and told her a bye. I would like to think that she went back to her dad with some reluctance.;) But she didn't yearn to go atleast.:)
Its a different story altogether that i kept talking about it for an hour and now on the blog too. Yeaaahhh.. Me so happy. A kid came to me.

Hypocrisy

hypocrisy needn't always be the obvious way like the one of the netas not practicing what they promise. At a personal level, it could mean a lot of things. It could mean, how one would chide a friend for maintaining distance, when secretly thats exactly what he/she is doing, or wants to do at least. It could mean making a lot of fuss over the usage of swear words, when one has the urge to use it himself/herself when driven to the wall. It could mean having this large(or should it be small?) ego which prevents one from emulating some things, though admired, just for the reason of being unique. It is thinking of every giggling girl as girlish and not acknowledging that you are just that. It includes not able to tell your relatives you are not what they think you to be and admire you for. It is not able to tell people around you that you are not what they think you to be.....a lot more..

What do I tell? Feel like screaming at the top of my voice to the whole world, the word I made so much fuss about when used on me. Had so many aspirations, so many things wanted. Now it seems so meaningless. Why wasnt 'something' the most important thing to be wished for? Referring to the old saying, here. A lot of thoughts coming together. How I used to find this line ' humein aur jeene ki chaahat naa hoti, agar tum na hote'! The context is different. But I understand it in my own way now. The moving people around the stationary 'you' have a more important role than just keeping to their orbit. You know you should push them and make their orbit a lil wider, but u do just the opposite. You rely on them, lean heavily on their shoulders. Why???
Changes happen, unknowingly without you realizing. Like the beginning of the river like laughter in the second year. Nothing is permanent but change.:)
Hee hee..everything changes,including your mood..:D Posting this 'cos energy was anyways wasted in writing so much:P

Blogging:)

Was reading this blog some days back, the writer seems so normal. Someone unknown, and yet feels connected. Some kind of unknown respect. She talks about the absurdity of having to give a title for everything. Now that makes sense, especially someone like me, who can't think in the same direction for more than a minute. But one would wonder at the titles for each entry in my blog. It could refer to the ego, mentioned elsewhere, but its also to give a direction to the writing. This topic itself is inspired from there where she wrote about writing. Today, it would necessarily be blog about blogging. Why blog? Just cos everyone does it? Not necessarily, since it is not public. Might be for that flair etc. It is majorly to think patiently. It is to give things time before all the damage is done. It is to think of things, not thought properly of, before.......

arbit!

This time the thought process was an Enumerator of boolean. Just a To or Not to options available.
Sometimes you are amazed at the wonders life brings at your doorstep. The person who is 'known' to you for so many years actually gets known when it is time to go. Seems so unfair.
There is lot more to write. But there is the confusion that maybe I m just a paranoid. To think of it, I feel this kind when I know the person is going to go away. Like the last day of college, when I knew certain people wouldn't be in touch. Getting retro about the time spent with them now feels stupid since its not just in a 'relation' where feelings should be reciprocated. But the rest, who cared the most, it never bothered since I knew you would keep in touch and I was right there. Love you all:)
So no more feeling bad. Sayonaara.